Daddy Ancient, Daddy Gone

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(inspired by the ghost of Sylvia Plath’s poem DADDY, on this, the 50th anniversary of her death.  Rest in Peace, goddess poet.)

Daddy ancient, Daddy gone

Daddy harmful, Daddy past

No love without conditions

You slam the door

 

Daddy

Bastard

Daddy

Fool

 

You

Do

Not

Do

 

Twenty years of dust

Layering the shame

Daddy statue

Daddy stone

Daddy rattling

Shattered bone

 

I bury you

You do not do

I have buried you

I do not visit

Your vampire grave

Shadow of my youthful night

Empty

Hearted

Stiff

Lie back in your coffin with a seething migraine

I stepped on the line

I broke your spine

But you broke mine first

Before my birth

You

Sucked

 

The life

The soul

The spark

Careless giver of life

You bastard you

I’m through with you too

 

You couldn’t stop

Propogating this earth

You made babies

Little bits of you

Offspring

Shot by shot

One through five

 

Our creator

Our destroyer

Daddy’s little girls

Little boys with so much hope

Always afraid of you

Always afraid of you

Shot down

Thrown over the side

Dragged behind the boat

Crashing waves

Choking throats

Screaming cries

Life-preservers

Hold our bobbing heads

Gobbledygoo

Gobbledygoo

We made it through

We made it

Through

 

We five

We made it out alive

 

But shattered

But broken

Like ancient relics

Stick us together with glue

The pieces no longer fit

 

The family that you made

The family that you broke apart

With your tar black heart

Never get it right

Always need to win the fight

Terrorize

With lying eyes

You raise a colony of fear

Fertilize a garden of hate

You teach a festering kind of rage

Tiny bleeding fingers

Clawing at the cage

You taught us to run

To never turn back

We jagged shells

We flee the madhouse

Scuttle on

Scuttle on

Ancient tales

Covered trails

Dragging along

Pretty bleeding sand

 

Daddy

Daddy

I’m through

And the neighbours never liked you

You are the key to my past

I have set blazing

I have burned to ash

Sooty safe

Beneath this one black shoe

 

If I was the goddess in an ancient myth

You are the rock I am forced to push

If I was an ancient faerie sprite

You are the giant who strips me of flight

Maim me

Mark me

Steal my wings

If I was a cosmic wonder from outerspace

You are the secret service who shields my face

Making up lies

Shrouding truth

If I was the graveyard willow standing centuries tall

You are the chain-saw that makes me fall

Buzz

Kill

Stroke by stroke

 

You worked

So hard

To control and to crush

And to fuck us right up

And it almost worked

On almost all of us

 

You buried us

One by one

When we were eight

We were wishy-washy

When we were twelve

We shamed the family name

When we were twenty

We jammed our middle fingers in your face

 

You are the disgrace

The opposite of love

You are the ugliness of hate

A product of lies uprising

Victim of a long line of deception and control

But that doesn’t mean

That you had to be mean

What does it mean

That you chose to be mean

Just like your mother

Brute heart

Dagger sharp

Thorn of bitterness

Spilled over

Spread through you

Poison

You let the sickness flow

You chose to be

The bastard son

The vacant father

Your own daddy exiled

You keep grandma’s tradition alive

House-keeping

Rinse

Wash

Repeat

Vile exile

Two children tossed out

Like a sack

Like a sack

 

Pull me out

Of this erosion

Volcanic explosion

Tear down my imaginary walls

Daddy

I have built

A forest

So thick and lush

So safe and magic

It will keep you out

My siblings

And all those fallen cookie crumbs

We will find our way back to ourselves

Spider webs and emails sent

Protect me from your spell

You can no longer hurt me from your space of hate

You are so gone

Long

 

Forget you

We are through

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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